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What Wikipedia Should Have Been


Running With Scissors
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Dont know if this is common knowledge but I found a very funny website, it is what I think wikipedia should have been.

 

The average amount of caca (NeoEnglish for food) eaten a day by a average America citizen is 16, which all consists of 40 cokes 40 big macs and 40 live Arabs (if there are no Arabs around Mexicans are just as nice, how ever Canadians are much sought for). All meals consist of that all but one is full drugs, like Cloraton which is a harsh corrosive drug to clean attires and help bowl movements. The average American weighs over 40 cows, that's nearly 50 COWS (500 lbs)! Not to mention CRACK the main item consumed ( drug ).

 

England is the largest exporter of Scottish barbarian slaves. England is distrustful of Pakistan after "Brown Friday" when Pakistanis raided airbases, stole choppers, and airlifted all of England's call centres off to Pakistan. As of 2005, the English public have had to learn Pakistani if they want tech support with their internets. It didn't take long for the banks to follow suit and now Pakistani is England's second most spoken language with Scouse following a close third, Polish at fourth and English at fifth (Bollocks, the official language of government, being the most widely spoken). English telecom thought it would be a wise idea to change there name to Bombay telecom.

 

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The iPod Nano - This is an even smaller version of the iPod, and is fatal to any creature that eats it due to its sharp edges. It also has a tendency to get stuck between the teeth, which causes great discomfort, especially when listening to Celine Dion.This was developed using the lost art of iBonsai.

 

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My favorite excerpts:

 

{censored}, sometimes called Weapons of Mass Erection, are the largest form of wart known to mankind. They are known to develop in roughly 50% of the population, usually on the upper chest area, though they occasionally form on the elbows. They are roughly twice as common as the {censored}. Some expert scientists believe that the possession of a {censored} and the formation of {censored} are somehow related in some obscure way, yet this has not yet been proven (see "causes" below), {censored} were created in the English city of Bristol in 1996, since the great boob factory fire of 99' production has moved to France, where they continue to be devolved to this day, although since the creation of the internet demand has plummeted.

 

NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!

The article you are looking at may not be work safe!

If a boss or coworker saw this article, claim that it was spam and blame the IT guys. Otherwise, continue to read it until your lewd urges are satisfied.

 

Warning: This article may have content not suitable for young children. Please cover their eyes with dolly.
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Wikipedia is an English language wiki that features satirically themed articles as a parody of Uncyclopedia. Some say that it is actually a database of useless trivia, including such things as: lists of trains, Pokémon, lists of Mortal Kombat characters that don't exist, hyperactive alter egos of fictional characters, one-time villains from Mario games, road intersections, boring suburban schools, garage bands, cats, webcomics, Bionicle characters, characters from English soap operas, list of national football teams, penguins, Windows, list of GTA games, God, Satan, life, the universe and Everything, as well as things they call articles.

 

However, Wikipedia is in fact a Massively Multiplayer Online Editing Game played by experts in redundancy, skepticism, pseudoscience, hyperlinking, reverting articles, demanding reliable sources, redundancy, verification, redundancy, identifying original research and initiating subtle flamewars over what is encyclopedic.

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