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Steve Jobs about smoking: “Today, you’ll see the most advanced smoking device on the earth. We’ve developed it for five years. You can light your cigar from both sides - and BOOM! you’ll feel instant pleasure and amazement! And just with a press of a button - BOOM! your cigar becomes smokeless, but still delivering the greatest experience!”


Steve Jobs about Microsoft’s cigar: “Yes, I’ve heard they are developing a new cigar - one that you can light from both sides: imagine where that come from! It doesn’t matter to me tho: we’ll develop a totally new and revolutionary cigar soon, altho I’m sure they’ll copy us again...”


Steve Jobs about the reliability of Apple’s cigars: “They just work! Just unpack it, light it and BOOM! instant pleasure at your fingertips. They ARE totally reliable. [whispering: now turn off your camera.] Ok, we might have some technical problems, from time to time, with our cigars. But we’ll still say they are totally reliable. If you say they aren’t, we will delete your post or complaints from our forum. We won’t admit any problem with our cigars until there are thousands of angry customers and a couple of lawsuits against us.”

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