Jump to content

New definitions of Terminal & UNIX commands


roses
 Share

7 posts in this topic

Recommended Posts

Sudo: a kind of wrestling, originally of Japanese origin, now practiced in the north of England, in which two overweight beer-swilling louts try to push each other off a medium-sized round dinner table while wearing only a large nappy (diaper).

 

Bash: what those two lager louts do to each other on the way out of the pub on a Saturday night at chucking out time (especially if they support rival football teams).

 

 

 

Feel free to add your own.......................................

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

elm - the tree, of course

lynx - the cat that looks like a bobcat

date - what one does with the opposite sex (or same depending on your whoami return, which you can find by fingering yourself) in which alcohol is consumed and much lying is done.

 

wow - gonna stop with that last one...

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

grep - a type of hand-hold used by those wrestlers in the aforementioned North-Country sport

 

tar - a way of thanking another IM forum contributor for his/her help in solving a problem

 

tarball - what a road-licking cat will cough up onto your carpet every once in a while

 

sh - please be quiet, I'm trying to concentrate and learn how to use all these goddam Terminal commands (when I thought the days of CLI were over and I would only ever need to use a GUI interface on my Hackintosh - how wrong I was)

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

UNIX Terminal – a kind of illness that affects both Mac/Hackintosh & Linux users. (Experts agree that with MS Windows people it is generally known as DOSitis.) In the latter stages and severest forms of this affliction, there is no known cure.

 

Symptoms include up to 23 hours a day facing a square box or flat panel which emits light of various intensities and colours. Meals are taken without moving from this device, and the food is eaten with one hand while the other one furiously and/or slowly taps away at small square blocks on something called a 'keyboard'.

 

Other side effects include completely ignoring wife/girlfriend/children/cat/dog, and breaking off all personal and visual contact with friends and family, apart from sending messages to them electronically via this machine.

 

The affected person can be observed staring intently at a small black 'window' on the screen which contains only lines of white lines of text which say weird things like [PCI config begin] or [root@linux] $. These lines are usually static but occasionally burst into life with scores and hundreds of lines whizzing past. Far-gone patients even claim to understand what most of it means!!

 

It has even been known for these poor lost souls to expand the size of the black window to half the size or even the full area of the screen, which thus completely obliterates and blocks out the view of all colours, pictures, icons, text, information and other interesting (and also useful one might  say) things on their monitors. This is the time to call for the men in the white coats with the van to bring a straitjacket and take this demented person away and lock them in a padded cell (with no computer!), throw away the key and leave them there for ever.

 

 

Apologies to anyone who really is (or has a loved one who is) suffering from some serious illness or life-threatening disease. The above is meant to cheer you up, not insult you, demean you or bring you down.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

UNIX Terminal – a kind of illness that affects both Mac/Hackintosh & Linux users. (Experts agree that with MS Windows people it is generally known as DOSitis.) In the latter stages and severest forms of this affliction, there is no known cure.

 

Symptoms include up to 23 hours a day facing a square box or flat panel which emits light of various intensities and colours. Meals are taken without moving from this device, and the food is eaten with one hand while the other one furiously and/or slowly taps away at small square blocks on something called a 'keyboard'.

 

Other side effects include completely ignoring wife/girlfriend/children/cat/dog, and breaking off all personal and visual contact with friends and family, apart from sending messages to them electronically via this machine.

 

The affected person can be observed staring intently at a small black 'window' on the screen which contains only lines of white lines of text which say weird things like [PCI config begin] or [root@linux] $. These lines are usually static but occasionally burst into life with scores and hundreds of lines whizzing past. Far-gone patients even claim to understand what most of it means!!

 

It has even been known for these poor lost souls to expand the size of the black window to half the size or even the full area of the screen, which thus completely obliterates and blocks out the view of all colours, pictures, icons, text, information and other interesting (and also useful one might  say) things on their monitors. This is the time to call for the men in the white coats with the van to bring a straitjacket and take this demented person away and lock them in a padded cell (with no computer!), throw away the key and leave them there for ever.

 

 

Apologies to anyone who really is (or has a loved one who is) suffering from some serious illness or life-threatening disease. The above is meant to cheer you up, not insult you, demean you or bring you down.

Is there even a support group for that?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is there even a support group for that?

 

If there is, it should be called something like "Hackintosher's Anonymous".

 

Some better suggestions please for the name of the support group.........................................

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...