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The InsanelyMac Guide for not posting your inane crap

A Nonny Moose

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The InsanelyMac Guide for NOT POSTING YOUR INANE {censored}


Now we all know these boards are filled with angst and fun. Occasionally, though, a priceless gem comes along that allows us to grow a little as human beings...or at least do something a tad faster. Unfortunately in 30 seconds, especially on the InsanelyMac Boards, stupid {censored} bumps off important threads you should read. Hard numbers and workarounds are bumped off by the ten trillionth RATE MY HACK PLZ!!!!




I have created an FAQ, and what you should do before you EVER decide to post anything EVER is to read this and make sure that topic is not addressed. If your topic is addressed, do not post. Even if it isn't addressed, you probably should not post, because the goal of this guide is to shut you up. Note that I will also take my own advice and not post anything unless I have something non-retarded to say--WHICH IS NOT LIKELY!!!


How do I use this FAQ?


Why is this a question in FAQ's? Are people this retarded? Anyhoo, you use this FAQ by reading it over any time you have the unnatural desire to post. Either you will see your topic ridiculed or be generally too embarrassed to post realizing that we don't want to hear it, which will mean this FAQ is a success!


What brand should I--






But I picked--


I don't care. Any brand will most likely work, but I still don't care. Just get a Dell or buy a Mac.


What about a PowerPC Mac?


Get it, have fun with it, it is cheap, shut up.



Can I build my own--




Will these parts work?


I don't care. You don't care enough to do your own damn 2 minutes of research and nobody cares what parts you use. Since you didn't do any research (my god, we gave you the database, retard--USE IT), just take my initial advice and get a Dell or a real Mac.


But I REALLY want to build my own--


NO YOU DON'T. Please shut up.


I have built computers since 6400 BCE and--


And you're still an idiot. What part of 'shut the hell up' are you not getting here?


Tri-Boot OS X/Windows/Linux?


Now this isn't really a stupid question. The problem with it is it is repeated a lot and I'm tired of seeing daily threads about it. It's that kind of info that deserves to be on the first page instead of being drowned out with people discussing their itches in personal areas, their nonexistent free speech rights on this forum, and other inane {censored} like that. So in the interests of making things easy, here's a link on how to do it:




There you go, problem solved, no need for any more posts regarding this issue. If you think you have found a better guide, you can go ahead and use it without getting forum approval.


Where do I--


Pirate Bay






Do not cut and paste every single little detail from the system profiler. Your absolute laziness to cut and paste instead of typing ten words makes everyone else scroll past your spam of {censored} and not read it.


FROM NOW ON use the following template to describe your Hack:




RAM (brand and amount):

Video Card:

Hard Drive:

Hack version:

Misc Information (stay under 10 words):


You read that because it's less than 9,000 lines. Let's stick to that in the future.


Now on to why we don't want to hear about it. I want to be perfectly clear on this. Your Hack is not original. It is not creative. It is not a beautiful and unique snowflake. Not only is it not original, but 8,000 other people have the exact same configuration as you. Going AMD! or ATI! is not unique or cutting edge. There are tradeoffs to hardware (kind of), and you might have the absolute worst possible combination of hardware possible (meaning you tried to reuse that old Win 3.1 box, didn't you?).


Now honestly, if you're having a problem post-build post-install, then sure, we'll help you. But whatever else you do, you can do it without forum approval, BECAUSE WE DON'T CARE.


Intel or AMD?




Honestly, for any beginner, there is no reason at all not to try and mirror something that's in the current lineup of Macs. Later on, you might become more adventurous and try a different brand or anything like that. Until that point, it is not a post worthy discussion and even then, we don't want to hear about it.


Forgive me if this is the wrong forum but--


LEARN TO READ, {censored}. Place it in the right forum at the very least, but considering that you're not capable of basic reading and comprehension, please do us all a favor and just remove the tube.



Apple should license their OS for every box!


Ahhh, another daily thread favorite. Seriously, you need to remove your feeding tube if you post this. Apple is a HARDWARE COMPANY with software components. In order to turn a profit as a software company, Apple has to either raise the user base to Microsoft proportions (which won't happen) or raise prices (which raises supply and lowers demand).


Your retard suggestion will most likely bankrupt Apple, so let's just stop.


Macs are oh so hard!!!


NO THEY AREN'T. Did you think it works 100% like Windows? If so, you fail. If not, you still fail because you suck. Sure there are strange little quirks that only 0.5% of the entire user base has ever had happen to them or done, but honestly, Macs are ridiculously easy to handle.


GOD, spambotx, spamboty, spambotz, TOTALLY SUCKS, OMG BAN THEM!


Thank you for the insight. We all know this. Anyone with half a brain knows this. Unfortunately, people that are able to do things like heavy moderation of all new users (until we're certain they are not adbots, then no more moderating) do not fall into this category and instead require us to use the outdated reporting system. There is nothing to say about it/them without chaining thirty swear words one right after the other. Well, except they bite donkey...stuff.



Do you agree with my seething hatred? Do you want to see our boards clutter free? I have an idea! When someone makes a topic pertaining to a topic I have covered, do not engage them in conversation. Instead, RIDICULE them and point them to this topic. Since I'm such a swell and helpful dude, you can search for this page and post the link!

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