rob356 Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 from http://engineeringedu.com/microsoft.html A Microsoft Christmas Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse. The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last-minute Internet shopping. The stockings were hung by the modem with care In hope that St. Nicholas would bring new software. The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of computer games danced in their heads. Dark Forces for Billy, and Doom II for Dan, And Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann. The letters to Santa had been sent out by Mom, To santaclaus@toyshop.northpole.com Which has now been re-routed to Washington State Because Santa's workshop has been bought by Bill Gates. All the elves and reindeer have had to skedaddle To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle. After centuries of a life that was simple and spare, St. Nicholas is suddenly a new billionaire, With a shiny red Porsche in the place of his sleigh, And a house on Lake Washington that's just down the way From where Bill has his mansion. The old fellow preens In black Gucci boots and red Calvin Klein jeans. The elves have stock options and desks with a view, Where they write computer code for Johnny and Sue. No more dolls or tin soldiers or little toy drums Will be under the tree, only compact disk ROMS With the Microsoft label. So spin up your drive From now on Christmas runs only on Windows 95. More rapid than eagles the competitors came, And Bill whistled, and shouted, and called them by name. "Now, ADOBE!now, CLARIS! now, INTUIT! too, Now, APPLE! and NETSCAPE! you are all of you through, It is Microsoft's SANTA that the kids can't resist, It's the ultimate software with a traditional twist - Recommended by no less than the jolly old elf, And on the package, a picture of Santa himself. Get 'em young, keep 'em long, is Microsoft's scheme, And a merger with Santa is a marketer's dream. To the top of the NASDAQ! to the top of the Dow! Now dash away! dash away! dash away - wow!" And Mama in her 'kerchief and I in my cap, Had just settled down for a long winter's nap, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, The whirr and the hum of our satellite platter, As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the sky, The SANTALITE owned by the Microsoft guy. As I sprang from my bed and was turning around, My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound. And there on the screen was a smiling Bill Gates Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates. And I heard them exclaim in voice sobright, Have a MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS, and TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suhail Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 Haha that was quite funny. My favorite bit was.. The letters to Santa had been sent out by Mom,To santaclaus@toyshop.northpole.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thegodfaza Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, I don't remember windows having hopping icons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmdshft Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 I don't remember windows having hopping icons. Mac department. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Numberzz Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 :'( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrjoe Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 lol nice one numberzz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SDRacer48 Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 That was good. And nice one numberzz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dainix Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 The short Weird Al bit on Microsoft and Christmas was funny as well as this. Who wouldn't want whores for Christmas? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realfolkblues Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Dear Santa, I want a whore. and not the used kind too. One wraped up in plastic wrap. Shiny and new! P.S. Please use fedex I dont want her broken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Universe_JDJ Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 Haha. @Numberzz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(MoC) Posted December 2, 2007 Share Posted December 2, 2007 Gr8@Numbers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~pcwiz Posted December 2, 2007 Share Posted December 2, 2007 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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