Just got done with this one so thought some would critique and any suggestions...

Yes,
Made with Garageband and Apple's Loops

not bad. i like the mix, but the effects used are wayyy too out of the box for me.


it shows that youve used garage band.



my suggestion would be to jump into the scene and see what artists are mixing, and find out what theyre using.


then, use the newly-found technology to get the most fun & enjoyment out of your creative endeavours.