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Mr.D.

List of things to do before turning 50: Go to Disneyland, ride in an airplane, kiss Peggy Fleming, live in a house with stairs, beat up a Russian, hit mom with a car.
Jun 12 2013 11:17 PM
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Mr.D.

Everybody settles. At one point my obituary was going to read "CEO Of GE Dies Violently In Casino Orgy." Now what's it going to say, "Middle Manager Of A Philadelphia Porn Distributor Never Wakes Up?"
Apr 25 2013 11:36 PM
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Mr.D.

...and then attended Harvard Business School where I was voted, Most. I once hit a stand up triple off Fidel Castro. I was the first person ever to say, I need a vacation from this vacation. The song "Your so vain" was in fact written...by me.
Apr 21 2013 12:29 PM
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Mr.D.

I believe that when you have a problem, you talk it over with your priest, or your tailor, or the mute elevator porter at your men's club. Then you take that problem and you crush it with your mind vice. But for lesser beings, like curly haired men and people who need glasses, therapy can help.
Apr 15 2013 09:09 PM
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Mr.D.

Meditation is a waste of time, like learning French or kissing after sex.
Apr 14 2013 02:42 AM
  • Lejenk's Photo
    Lejenk
    You sir, are a genius, an example to all men!
    Apr 14 2013 09:44 PM
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Mr.D.

Okay, in my defense, every April 22nd I honor Richard Nixon's death by getting drunk and making some unpopular decisions.
Apr 11 2013 03:38 AM
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Mr.D.

You wanna party? It's $500 for kissing and $10,000 for snuggling; end of list.
Apr 07 2013 11:02 PM
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Mr.D.

Unicorn - its what's for dinner!
Mar 29 2013 11:23 PM
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Mr.D.

Meow Meow Meow Meow, Meow Meow Meow Meow, Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow !
Mar 26 2013 01:18 AM
  • Lejenk's Photo
    Lejenk
    Woof Woof!
    Mar 27 2013 09:59 PM
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Mr.D.

Jennifer Love Hewwit I aint!
Mar 22 2013 10:13 PM
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Mr.D.

The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king! -- Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Mar 15 2013 03:51 AM
  • eep357's Photo
    eep357
    Says the guy WITHOUT a pond sword!
    Mar 17 2013 12:03 AM
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Mr.D.

Just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me...
Mar 15 2013 03:41 AM
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Mr.D.

Just because some moistened bit lobbed a scimitar at me...
Mar 15 2013 03:39 AM
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Mr.D.

Honorable Mention: The Frey
Mar 11 2013 03:56 PM
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Mr.D.

stupid hipster girl with her fancy technology
Mar 08 2013 01:06 AM
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